Dim the light of your search,
wear soft shoes
watch your steps:
the terrain you walk on is sacred ground.
Open your inner ears and eyes.
Wait.
Be patient.
I move slowly.
I don’t do well with the intensity of a chatty mind and the relentless need to know and understand everything.
I don't come just because you want me to or you think it is time I showed up.
You may think of me as elusive.
I am.
I don't like to be tracked down... I prefer to be invited and then be given the time to simply appear .
When you have run out of options,
I will appear from the penumbral landscape I inhabit in your depths.
I, Your soul - will know that you are ready for me.
I don’t beat to the human tune of busyness or logic.
I don’t sit well in pockets of anxiety and fear, although my cries are often threaded in your experiences of grief, sadness, depression and loss.
I am at home with that.
I speak through the sacredness of the body, a language scorned for thousands of years, a vehicle beaten, repressed and vilified for its closeness to the earth and the messiness of life.
Can you feel me in the muscles relaxing and tensing through the waves of my call in your cells?
I am in the subtle yet constant gnawing in the pit of your stomach. An unease, a wordless cry, a hunger. For what you don’t know.
My laments may disguise as physical pain, as tightness, fatigue and illness even, while your organs process the chemistry of a much deeper, subtler yet more fundamental discomfort: your loss of belonging.
I am the ONE calling.
A numb restlessness mistaken for hunger. You eat. You exercise the edge away. You think positive and chant mantras. So skilled you are, and so invested, in compensating for this ‘undefinable un-ease’ that you become ‘dis-eased’ from all the running. The more you run, the more you starve; and the more you starve the more frantic you become.
And I am here.... waiting.
I have been trying to reach you for so long.
The depth of your restlessness is how much I yearn for your undivided attention.
I get that how I view life will most likely turn your beliefs, your choices and inner structures upside down but in the process I will offer you a vista you would never contemplate, let alone embrace.
I am the ultimate teacher, dispenser of wisdom, guidance and affection. I am the safest of ports, offering refuge when your sense of identity and worth fail you, or even crumble.
I am like in-flowing waters, circling around you, asking you to show up and play.
I am more like a prodding finger, a nudging look, a tap on the shoulder.
My world is mysterious and autonomous. I don’t seek to dominate the physical world of your exterior living nor am I the Source in you. But I am the connector between the two: to truly flow in the life and the voice you came to embody, you have to recognize my authority in you and learn the language of the sacred and the ancient.
You wouldn’t dare enter a holy temple thrashing about, expecting or demanding for such a world to adapt to your shrunk vision of life, whining away your desires and commands as through a loudspeaker.
So please, enter my world in silence and silence will lead you to what you need to listen to. You don’t get to rule here. But we can converse. Gently. Respectfully.
My home is deep.
Dense.
The air is rarefied.
You may linger just a few seconds at a time when you first visit. The landscape here is unlike any you have ever traversed in your physical existence. Each drop drunk from my rivers rekindles what you thought was forever lost.
My food is cooked over century-old stoves:
I feed all the creative arts birthed in surrender to Mystery; I am in the heart of suffering and loss, in the breath of a natural landscape, in the walls of old buildings, in the healed scars of trauma and abuse, in the kitchen of humble fare prepared with reverence and respect for time and creation. I am laughter and joy in the eyes of experience, I'm in the moist blood of surrender and in the tears of acceptance......
I am here...will you listen?